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Top Ten Gifts Every Mom Wants for Christmas

Merry

Repost:

Christmas is literally right around the corner. Like we are still trying to digest the turkey, the ‘Big Book of Toys’ has slammed down on my doorstep and my boys are circling things like I am a Rockefeller. Lists are being made and my email is exploding with deals after deals faster than I can text “Holy crap, did you see that glistening ass on Kim Kardashian?”

Oy vey.

The rush to find the best, coolest and most amazing gifts for my loved ones has started, game on!

But what about us? Moms, do you browse magazines – circling new things you want? Maybe some fancy new running gear? Maybe that shiny new tennis bracelet? Are you cutting out pictures of those fabulous black sleek new boots? I ask do you actually make a list of what you want for the Christmas?

No? Well, moms let me know if you agree with the list I made for Christmas:

1)  A clean house, on the daily for a full year.

2)   A “No Falling to the Floor as if Bruce Willis Just Shot You Down in Die Hard Zone” when I ask the Little Buggers to do anything. Like put their clothes in the laundry basket that were thrown RIGHT NEXT to laundry basket.

3)   A perpetual supply of sangria (from the sink tap (fruit and all) would be AAAAMAZING!).

4) No moans and groans when I ask my children to take a shower (as if a shower is so difficult, WTF?)

5)   To go out with my friends without having to arrange for babysitting.

6) A family dinner wherein every family member eats every single thing on their plates. #AGirlCanDream.

7)  A “No Farting Territory” in the common areas of the house especially the kitchen, with two boys it gets pretty nasty.

8)  A full night of sleep without interruption. And let me piggy back on that, how about NOT being the “chosen one” and “they” actually let me  sleep later than 7 a.m.!

9)  A laundry fairy for the year – includes folding and putting away!

10)  Peace, Harmony and Good Will for All, in other words for my children to stop effffing fighting for a FULL day.

Cheers! Merry Christmas!

 

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Posted in christmas shopping, deanna, deanna verbouwens, i know this much is true, That's Life, unnatural mother Tagged with: , ,

How Do You Know You’re a Great Parent?

keep calm

 

Every day as parents we question whether or not we are good, average hell … great parents, especially with the internet’s telling us that we are doing it all wrong, or those overzealous parenting posts on Facebook, or our own psychosis screaming into our brains that we are not good enough parents.

Well, my friends, I am here to tell you that you’re a great parent, no matter what those annoying helicopter moms or dads say. How do I know that? Well, I got some mad skills, I’ve been around the parenting block for a decade, I’ve made many mistakes – my oldest sons first year of life was like a circus, I had no idea what I was doing, I made everyone around me crazy, and my pediatrician actually red-flagged my file.

That is not a joke.

My sons file was really red-flagged ala Elaine Benes in Seinfeld – because I was a nut job.

So I am pretty qualified to let you know that you are not fucking up as a parent, that you are doing more than an OK job at this parenting thing, I know that because you…

  • Wash the same pair of socks over 6,000 times in one week because your child can only wear those socks, no matter how many new pairs of the exact same pair of socks you bought, they don’t want the new ones.
  • Cut their fingernails in their sleeps because it the only way to get it done and more importantly avoid a temper tantrum.
  • Make the same lunch for twelve years because it’s the only lunch food your child will eat.
  • Volunteer… as a coach, with the PTA, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Religion Teacher, School Function, whatever volunteer gig you take, you’re giving up valuable time for your child. Kudos to you!
  • Have boogers, tears, food stains on your shirt.
  • Sing them to sleep even though you have a headache, the flu, or are hung-over.
  • Held their hand when they went off to school for the first time.
  • Stayed up to the wee hours of the night for moral support as they finish their school reports.
  • Worked extra hours (basically handled your shit) so you can watch them play any sport, perform in any production, or watch them march in any fricking parade.
  • Cried yourself to sleep because they were rejected in any way by a friend, a school admission, the travel soccer team or any rejection really – could be the random kid at the park who didn’t want to play with them – am I being dramatic? HELL YEA!
  •  Gave in for the 100th time to the play date, sleepover; ice-cream or gum at the checkout line. Sucker MC? Absolutely! But hey they’re worth it.
  • Paid $15.00 for some crap toy at the amusement park cause your parents never did that. Okay, that’s dumb but it happens.
  •  Refrained from clothes-lining the mom whose snotty kid tormented your child at recess.

…  You love them like no other and will take a gosh darn bullet for them even if it means you may spill your wine.

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Posted in deanna, deanna verbouwens, That's Life, Uncategorized, unnatural mother Tagged with: , ,

My CrossFit Coaches Are Better Than Yours

Lets WOD

 

There I said it. And it’s the truth. Wanna take a bet? I’ll win. For sure. I know most CrossFitters think their box and their coaches are the cat’s meow, the best of the best, the Crème de La Crème however the Coaches at CrossFit165 really are – they’re the bomb diggity.

Before I divulge why I think my Coaches are the best let me preface with … I began my CrossFit journey in March of 2015 but my attendance was spotty at best. I loved it but my schedule was way too erratic to go regularly. At the end of June I began to go four to six days a week. And man I drank the juice, actually I chugged it. Just like my good ‘ole college days but the difference is this juice will do my body and mind good.

Nevertheless, when I began CrossFit, Charlie was my Coach. Oh dear Charlie. He’s a beast. A very patient, sarcastic, motivating beast. As the box grew and more Coaches were brought in I now have the pleasure (sarcasm at its best) of attending the classes with other Coaches. And they’re all awesome. Patient. Motivating. Nice. Which is what you want in a Coach, especially for CrossFit. As one of the co-owners of the box said this very morning “It takes courage to walk into a box” and he’s right. Because each time I enter the gym, ummmm box for another workout I am scared out of my mind:

  • Scared that I can’t keep up (it’s a struggle but I fight every day).
  • Scared of getting it all wrong (it happens more times that I wish).
  • Scared that the Coaches would be disappointed in my performance (they don’t care about this shit, as long as you try – that’s most important. After my very first WOD. Charlie must of sensed my disbelief and noticed that I was gasping for air when he said “You start where you start” which was encouraging and comforting).
  • Scared that the Coaches will laugh at this chubby mom of two trying desperately to keep up with some very fit CrossFitters (they never laugh, although Charlie has on occasion gave a look and shook his head in disbelief at the questions I asked).
  • Scared I would cry because the WOD was too much to handle (it almost happened).
  • Scared I will puke (I have come close).
  • Scared that I will disappoint myself (maybe once but I am really in awe of what I am actually doing. Ummm hello, I just PR’d a Power Clean at #90, like who the hell am I?)

CrossFit is fucking hard. It’s grueling. It’s mentally taxing; so when I was told that Charlie – one of the Coaches and co-owner of CrossFit165 made the 2015 CrossFit Games, I was speechless. And that’s rare for me. The CrossFit games are ridiculous. Ridiculously hard. I’ve watched the games well before the thought of CrossFit crossed my mind. And it is insanity. So many athletes gun for the games and don’t even come close to making the cut. Coach Charlie did.

Awesomesauce!

So, why do I care if my Coach made it to the games? As a newbie Crossfitter – who is absolutely light-years away from completing ONE strict toes-to-bar – it actually means a helluva lot:

  • It means that you are being coached and trained by the very best in the field (one of the fittest and strongest athletes on the planet. Yes. The. Planet).
  • It means that games Coach is providing guidance and training to every other coach at the box, which means you’re getting the very best of every coach all the time. SWEET!
  • It means that I can persevere, work hard, I can dream, I can be determined to succeed and it will pay off – in every aspect of my life. Coach Charlie proved that. Ten fold.
  • Having a Coach make the games and compete beautifully builds a community. The entire box got pumped when the games were on, we were all watching. At each workout we would commiserate about the games, about Charlie about the insane WOD’s. It’s motivating and builds a strong powerful community.
  • It means that your Coach busted his ass to get to the games and busted his ass competing which means you can’t bitch (even under your breath) about the 79 burpees, 89 box jumps and 1000 meter row you have to complete during the WOD.
  • It means everything to this newbie CrossFitter who has been struggling for almost five years to get stronger. Be a better runner, triathlete, to find confidence and to frankly to take off the 25 pounds I regained (wow that hurts, after losing 78).
  • It means I can. And it means I will.

So there you have it. My CrossFit Coaches are better than yours. Nanny nanny poo poo!

Settle down CrossFitters – I’m KIDDING, well not really but settle down anyway, go swing a kettle bell …  the right way!!

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Posted in deanna verbouwens, Mangia Mia Fitness Pia, unnatural mother Tagged with: