Yes, even though I’ve been Crossfitting for (GULP) close to three years, I still consider myself a novice. I have RX’d maybe one movement in maybe one WOD, and I don’t go seven days a week. I am just not that good of a Crossfitter, but I like the workout, love my box (165!) and, of course, I’m madly in love with my 5 a.m. fighters. I am seeing small bits of progress. It works for me and is a good balance for the triathlon training I do.
The other day at Crossfit, burpees were in the WOD. Again. Afuckingain. I mean, enough with the burpees! But it had me thinking. Although I love the workout Crossfit gives me, I also hate it. It’s a very passionate love-hate relationship. Some months, I am there 2-3x a week, and the next month I ghost. But I always come back, because really, who doesn’t love the torture?
Nevertheless, below are the things I hate about Crossfit:
- Men in spandex, and no, not the occasional one-two days a week of spandex under shorts (that is totally acceptable), but those that wear them straight up without underwear. It’s so much at 5 a.m. — way too much — that my retinas burn out.
- Snatch fucking that. I hate that movement so much. Fuck snatches.
- V-up. Well, I actually like the movement, except when I look like a baby seal on a beach.
- The moaning. Do you really need to moan when you’re working out? And I don’t mean grunting when you lift heavy. I mean the MOANS from some athletes. This is not the bedroom; leave the moans there.
- When you’re the last one finishing the workout and everyone is waiting for you to clean up – that sucks!!!
- Ripped up hands! In some ways, I love it. In other ways – what in the holy hell? I have enough to worry about; I can’t tend to callouses on the palms of my hands!
- Did I mention Burpees?
I don’t think this list is unreasonable. I even think some of the die-hard, CrossFit games-caliber athletes would tend to agree with me! So tell me Crossfitters of the World – what do you hate about Crossfit?