8 things I hate about Christmas

As I lie in bed watching my 1,434th episode of Fixer Upper, it dawned on me I have, once again, totally neglected my plan of being done with Christmas shopping by December 1. You know, so I can enjoy December, instead of being completely frazzled, exhausted, deflated by December 25.

Year after year, I fall into the same trap. I set my goals high at the end of September and am utterly and completely shocked when December 1 rolls around.  It is as if the months of October and November never even happened. I look at calendar, and December rolls in and slaps me in the face – just like Cher does to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. And I am just as shocked.

I began to wonder why I do this to myself year after year. Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to finish Christmas shopping? Why not embrace the suck of racing around a parking lot trying to find my car, be utterly and completely irrational with my family and friends because we can’t settle on a day to meet up to exchange Christmas greetings, or stand in line at Target for six gazillion hours for gift cards!

Then I stopped.

And those thoughts made me think about all the sucky things I hate about Christmas:

  1. Elf on the Shelf pressure (Oh, I hate that Elf!)
  2. Not coming up with the perfect gift for my loved ones
  3. Wrapping presents. I fricking hate wrapping gifts. Some find it relaxing… not me. I find no joy in it whatsoever.
  4. The endless eating. I mean, I love to eat, but how many Christmas cookies can one person eat? (Don’t answer that!)
  5. Stocking stuffers. Just when you thought you were done shopping you remember the F$%King stocking stuffers!
  6. Christmas cards – I LOVE getting them but hate doing them.
  7. Egg nog. Listen egg nog you’re not Coquito so stop trying to be it!
  8. Always being in the holiday spirit. What? You can’t get cranky in December? F^%k that!

Now, don’t pin me for a Scrooge; I am far from one! I really do love the Christmas season — the songs (I mean, Pandora rocks a solid Christmas station!), the sentimental ornaments, the excitement from my boys. It’s just the pressure of the holiday rush that gets to me, which could probably all be AVOIDED if I just got my shopping done before December 1! Oy vey!


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2 comments on “8 things I hate about Christmas
  1. Jolene says:

    Girl, I hate wrapping too. I do like 90% gift bags with tissue, and only wrap what I have to. I hit the after Christmas sales like a good, frugal Asian on 12/26 every year to accomplish this goal.

    Stockings suck. So does the elf but we killed the Santa/elf beliefs last year, thank you, Jesus. So no more elf this year! Yay!

    The eating is awful/lovely. Love/hate that stuff too. Sounds like you need a little more credit carding/chip carding in your life. It makes everything better.

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