As I lie in bed watching my 1,434th episode of Fixer Upper, it dawned on me I have, once again, totally neglected my plan of being done with Christmas shopping by December 1. You know, so I can enjoy December, instead of being completely frazzled, exhausted, deflated by December 25.
Year after year, I fall into the same trap. I set my goals high at the end of September and am utterly and completely shocked when December 1 rolls around. It is as if the months of October and November never even happened. I look at calendar, and December rolls in and slaps me in the face – just like Cher does to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. And I am just as shocked.
I began to wonder why I do this to myself year after year. Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to finish Christmas shopping? Why not embrace the suck of racing around a parking lot trying to find my car, be utterly and completely irrational with my family and friends because we can’t settle on a day to meet up to exchange Christmas greetings, or stand in line at Target for six gazillion hours for gift cards!
Then I stopped.
And those thoughts made me think about all the sucky things I hate about Christmas:
- Elf on the Shelf pressure (Oh, I hate that Elf!)
- Not coming up with the perfect gift for my loved ones
- Wrapping presents. I fricking hate wrapping gifts. Some find it relaxing… not me. I find no joy in it whatsoever.
- The endless eating. I mean, I love to eat, but how many Christmas cookies can one person eat? (Don’t answer that!)
- Stocking stuffers. Just when you thought you were done shopping you remember the F$%King stocking stuffers!
- Christmas cards – I LOVE getting them but hate doing them.
- Egg nog. Listen egg nog you’re not Coquito so stop trying to be it!
- Always being in the holiday spirit. What? You can’t get cranky in December? F^%k that!
Now, don’t pin me for a Scrooge; I am far from one! I really do love the Christmas season — the songs (I mean, Pandora rocks a solid Christmas station!), the sentimental ornaments, the excitement from my boys. It’s just the pressure of the holiday rush that gets to me, which could probably all be AVOIDED if I just got my shopping done before December 1! Oy vey!