Top Ten Gifts Every Mom Wants for Christmas



Christmas is literally right around the corner. Like we are still trying to digest the turkey, the ‘Big Book of Toys’ has slammed down on my doorstep and my boys are circling things like I am a Rockefeller. Lists are being made and my email is exploding with deals after deals faster than I can text “Holy crap, did you see that glistening ass on Kim Kardashian?”

Oy vey.

The rush to find the best, coolest and most amazing gifts for my loved ones has started, game on!

But what about us? Moms, do you browse magazines – circling new things you want? Maybe some fancy new running gear? Maybe that shiny new tennis bracelet? Are you cutting out pictures of those fabulous black sleek new boots? I ask do you actually make a list of what you want for the Christmas?

No? Well, moms let me know if you agree with the list I made for Christmas:

1)  A clean house, on the daily for a full year.

2)   A “No Falling to the Floor as if Bruce Willis Just Shot You Down in Die Hard Zone” when I ask the Little Buggers to do anything. Like put their clothes in the laundry basket that were thrown RIGHT NEXT to laundry basket.

3)   A perpetual supply of sangria (from the sink tap (fruit and all) would be AAAAMAZING!).

4) No moans and groans when I ask my children to take a shower (as if a shower is so difficult, WTF?)

5)   To go out with my friends without having to arrange for babysitting.

6) A family dinner wherein every family member eats every single thing on their plates. #AGirlCanDream.

7)  A “No Farting Territory” in the common areas of the house especially the kitchen, with two boys it gets pretty nasty.

8)  A full night of sleep without interruption. And let me piggy back on that, how about NOT being the “chosen one” and “they” actually let me  sleep later than 7 a.m.!

9)  A laundry fairy for the year – includes folding and putting away!

10)  Peace, Harmony and Good Will for All, in other words for my children to stop effffing fighting for a FULL day.

Cheers! Merry Christmas!




Posted in christmas shopping, deanna, deanna verbouwens, i know this much is true, That's Life, unnatural mother Tagged with: , ,
6 comments on “Top Ten Gifts Every Mom Wants for Christmas
  1. Lynn Brophy says:

    Got to work this morning with a “puss on” feeling like I just left this place 2 minutes ago…saw your email post and laughed my head off! You made my day! I totally understand what you mean about Christmas want lists. For some reason we mothers don’t get to do that because we are too busy trying to keep up with the house cleaning, errands, laundry, making everyone in the house happy, driving kids around and last but not least working full time. I think that your list was absolutely reasonable! Go for it! Put it up onto the refrigerator for all to see. Thanks for the great start today!

  2. Kelley Broadaway says:

    OMG sooo true…fart free zones are a MUST for boys….I would add dishes in the dishwasher not the counter, bar or sink, and dishes unloaded from the dishwasher to their proper place not the counter or island(you really do know where they go)

  3. Lyn says:

    This is funny and true! Gave me a laugh on an otherwise blah day. Thanks 🙂

  4. Steph Murray says:

    Right on, Dee!!

  5. Lisa says:

    Just saw this attached to another post–dying laughing!

    Kids “circling things like I am a Rockefeller!”” Amen!

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