Things Overheard In My House

By Deanna

My house is never ever quiet, whether its my boys fighting, or the television blaring, or the boys yelling over the television, its never ever quiet; lately my boys have actually been talking, having full blown conversations, which to me is progress over the fighting. I can't believe the "things" that I have overheard in my house; I've done this before, but every once in a while I have to revisit it, I mean, I know that I am raising boys however when I hear some of these outrageous "things" I sometimes believe I am raising animals, or I might be raising a  Zen Spa Master?

Mom, did you know that thunder is God farting...
No, honey, I had no idea.  Really?

Matty, ya gotta see this...have you ever seen a poop this size?
This happens EVERY day. Do we really need to examine poop EVERY DAY?

Let's play Zen Spa...
This came out of the mouth of my FIVE year old. Where does he come from?

Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! Mommy is going to kick you in the butt if you don't listen to her, and you really don't want that to happen!
Okay, so maybe I'm doing something right!

Moms got a big ole butt...
We are no longer listening to L.L. Cool J my ego can't take it. 

Dad's lazy...
So I guess working overtime, doing the laundry, maintaining the outside of the house, making sure homework is done, playing with them 24/7, making lunches is not enough for my children, they must think I'm a slug, poor Daddy, he can't even watch TV without being classified as lazy! Damn kids, they know nothing!

God is the BOSS of us, you know that right? Mommy can't say no!
Again, from the five year old. My usual response: Well kid, GOD made me the boss of you, so I trump God this ONE time!

I need that, so I can smell good for the girls.
The "that" is his Dad's deodorant, the "who" is the five year old again! Oy vey, I'm in trouble.

I believe beer and chips were invented for moms raising boys.



 photo credit: Sam Ilić via photopin cc