Next Stop The Grotto...

By Deanna

I’ve come to conclusion during our 48 hour Hurricane Irene lock down that my husband and I are raising love bunnies. Mushy mushy love bunnies. During those long longs hours of waiting for Hurricane Irene to hit I was literally a jungle gym. My boys wouldn’t leave my side For. A. Minute. If I was lounging on the couch flipping from The Weather Channel to ABC, to CBS to NBC desperately trying to see when the 80mph winds would slam into my house they’d take a running leap from the kitchen and jump onto me; while we played Connect Four they’d hug me between turns; during my sumo-squats (in attempts to stay away from the fridge) they attacked me how I didn‘t bonk the littlest bugger with my five pound weight is beyond me.

The kisses I think outweighed the hugs. At one point my soon-to-be-four year old I believe was a St. Bernard because he was lapping me with so many kisses my entire cheek was drenched, soaked, disgustingly soaked. The never ending kisses assaulted me as I was going to the bathroom, they hunted me down when I was doing the laundry, they kissed me up when we were reading, when we were eating, when we were watching our 1,005th episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants.

I loved the affection, I really did but after a while I was definitely feeling a little claustrophobic. I began to wonder if I was starving my kids of attention? Were they showering me with this love because they don’t get it? I try to hug and kiss my children daily as I’m diligently working on the showing-my-kids-my-love-and-affection-regularly but this behavior was over the top!

As the day turned into night, and Hurricane Irene continued on her path I laid my children down to bed. As we watched our 1,0006th episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants I rubbed my littlest buggers belly. He loves it, he purrs like a kitten but than he flipped the switch on me. He started rubbing my chest, right above my boobs, it was a safe territory until he swiftly ran his hands over my boobies, right over my boobies. Like a Fonzie move, that slick. HELLO? Completely shocked I gently grabbed his hands and told him that he couldn't do that EVER and he said very inquisitively “why”, which I replied “because they are my privates, they’re mommies boobies”, wherein he so quickly replied “NO, no they're not, they’re daddy’s”.

Speechless.

I can attest that it is not a constant love fest in my house, my husband and I show our affection to each-other appropriately, in fact sometimes I don’t think we show the boys enough hand-holding, or kissing.

But clearly we do, because I’m not raising attention deprived children, I’m raising Hugh Hefner’s.

What I'm learning from Hurricane Irene...

By Deanna



My Backyard, see that field? Very worried about that tree with these winds, uh oh.


*I have no patience at all.

*I'm not a jungle gym, my kids think I am but really I'm not.

*My kids can be really annoying, yeah I said it, I've been trapped in the house for 36 hours with them, I can say anything I want.

*Being prepared is cool. I’m uncool. I thought I was having a party so all my party supplies would of dubbed as my Hurricane Irene supplies, I came to my senses and cancelled the party –ergo no supplies, no food, no toilet paper. I have a quarter of a gallon of milk, a half of bag of chicken nuggets, some peanut butter, 5 bottles of wine, 200 beers and 100 waters…wait maybe I am prepared?!

*Playing Super Mario Brothers on the DSI XL with my boys is fun, no wonder why they’re addicted.

*Some of the Disney Channel Shows should be rated PG 13x. Really? Some of the shows are so not appropriate for my children.

*I definitely favor Nickelodeon over Disney…can you say Sponge Bob, Victorious! Yay!

*There are some really cute meteorologists out there, like really cute!

*Boards games are fun...if you don't cheat, otherwise it gets ugly between brothers.

*Too much TV can definitely dummie you up: Snooki is as dumb as a box of rocks, but funny as hell; The Pioneer Women’s cooking show absolutely adorable, pleasantly surprised; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was entertaining; Al Roker tied to a bench in Long Beach: Classic; My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is scary as hell; Bravo TV has not disappointed at all.

*The Facebookers that post every second of their life in their status updates, are posting ever millisecond, a tad annoying, on the flip side those that I enjoy on Facebook are making this easier (Betsy, Dawn, Dawn, Deb, Tony, Kim, just to name a few…).

*Being Terrified is not fun, at all, mainly because I'm not prepared (see above).

*Having old towels, a shop vac and your husband home in case your basement floods – clutch!

*Twitter is keeping me sane.

*I like wine. Cracked this puppy open around 5:00. Thank you.



And since this storm is not over, I'm sure there will be more to learn.

Be Safe people!

Life In Perspective

By Deanna

This week has been insane. As Hurricane Irene is looming over us, I'm debating on whether I should cancel a big party planned at my house, and worst of all a dear close friend of mine is going through a real difficult time. I literally had to take the time to STOP and smell the roses. Because I am training for half marathon, I have a few days that I need to cross train no running, strength and core is where it's at. So yesterday I decided to do some core work than take a walk. I spontaneously invited my boys; I needed to take a look at the world through their eyes. We walked 1.01 miles in 39 minutes, this is what they saw:

A tide pool

An Eagle's Head

A Spoon (not what I thought!!)

A Meatball (to go with the spoon)

Richie loved these Flowers

And Matthew loved this rolly poly!

The boys thought this backyard would make a GREAT petting zoo!

As we were heading back home, I came across these flowers, I loved them they are purple-pinkish and fabulous! I stopped to smell them.

Race Eight of Twelve: 5k Run For Hope

By Deanna







On Saturday I did the Run for Hope 5K race to support breast cancer. I love running in local races because it's always a great cause, it supports the community and local running clubs – and I love our local running clubs they are chock full of fun and awesome characters!

This was a great race for me, I PR'd! It was my fastest 5k! I used the RunKeeper App for the iPhone and I really think it helped. This was the second time I used it and I loved it! I was really surprised that I was not annoyed with my time, pace and distance being piped over my music I usually hate seeing the mile markers when I race but this was actually motivating. When I heard that my first mile was 10:08 I was stoked and really wanted to see if I could push harder, and I did my second mile was 10:01!! To say that I was stoked is an understatement. My third mile was 10:44 not sure what happened there but pleased all around. Seeing my splits "In Real Life" was encouraging too, I'm so close to breaking a 10 minute mile. I now understand why everyone says that their Garmin improves their running, I can’t wait to get one, or use this App more. I just need to upload my music, because Pandora is annoying me!

I'm not sure if I'd use this App for a half marathon, it might get really annoying hearing mile 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13.1.... as well discouraging if I have a 10:00 minute mile than go to a 10:08, to a 10:20 it might be mental cluster F if you know what I mean!

As for my Half Marathon training, it's going well. I am focusing on speed, core and strength. Banking miles is the bank is important, and I am following my training plan but I really need to be stronger for this half if I want to PR. I completed two successful tempo runs, one interval session, hill repeats in the last four weeks and I plan on doing at least one of these speed workouts once week until the Half Marathon – gotta get faster!!

Be Well, Be Happy, Be You!

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna



*If you put in the hard work, you'll get the results you want for whatever you desire. Half Marathon training, disciplining your children, changing careers...

*Training for a half marathon is exhausting, getting up at 5:30 a.m. is KILLING ME. KILLING.ME.

*Never under estimate the power of social media! Twitter Love it! Follow me @UnnaturalMother.

*Saying you're going to kill someone with kindness and actually doing it is two very different things. It.Is.Hard. I'm trying.

*School can't start soon enough, my kids need structure, and so do I !

Are you THAT girl?

By Deanna

Don't I do a GREAT THAT GIRL?

In most situations in life there is always THAT girl or THAT guy, you know what I'm talking about. You're at lunch with your friend and in the middle of an in-depth intense conversation about the latest drama in your life you get rudely interrupted by your friend that says "OH MY GOD, there's THAT girl, THAT girl that got so drunk at the company Christmas party, or THAT girl that has the best hair, or THAT girl that always smiles, or THAT girl that always wears doc martens, isn’t it 2011 not 1989?

This got me thinking that I’ve been THAT girl a helluva lot if times in my life past & present:

*I’m THAT girl that sings, and plays the air drums on the treadmill, yea it’s annoying whatta gotta say about it?

*I'm also THAT girl that dances on her runs especially when I’m at a light, gotta do something Runners World said running in place is for assholes, and I’m not THAT.

*I’m THAT girl that has curly hair.

*I'm THAT girl that cries way too much, even at Hallmark commercials.

*I've been THAT drunk girl more times than I should even admit.

*I'm THAT girl that will say something to the bullies in the park.

*I'm THAT girl that rarely minds her own business.

*I'm definitely THAT girl that makes you laugh nine times out of ten.

*I’m THAT girl that makes a waiter/waitress work for their tips, hey I get really thirsty and I do tip well, I use to waitress!

*I'm also THAT girl that will embarrass my friends whenever possible sometimes they are just too uptight.

*I’m THAT girl that takes obscenity to the next level, yep THATS ME!

*I’m THAT girl that spoils her children.

*I’m THAT girl that will go out of her way for her family or friends.

*I'm certainly THAT girl who loves to eat.

*I'm THAT girl that always thinks she has the solution to everything, hey it's a Virgo thing!

*I'm THAT girl that will always find the positive in a shitty day for other people.

*I can definitely be THAT angry girl, I know, I know I’m working on it!

*I’m THAT girl that curses too much.

*I’m THAT girl that just completed her first triathlon and is training for her fifth half marathon but most importantly...

*I’m THAT girl that is just fabulous no matter what happens in life, good, bad or a drunken fiasco!

How To Discipline Your Children Without Really Trying

By Deanna



In most houses there is usually one parent that is the disciplinarian and one that is the softie. In our house, we break all the rules because both hubby and I are softies, real softies, like as soft as the creamiest soft serve ice cream that you can find, that soft and that delicious as a matter of fact!

I’m not sure why I’m such a softie because I have a pretty strong personality, and my parents were strict, especially my mom, she’d leave notes of the chores we’d have to complete before leaving the house or when we got home after school. If I failed a test I got removed from any after school activities immediately no second chances, no second thoughts no hollow threats. When I had to go to summer school I wasn’t allowed to go on the family vacation. Good times! So yes, my parents were strict.

What the hell happened to me? When it comes to my children, I’m as weak as a newborn baby that just came flying out of its mama’s vajajay. I have no backbone, and my threats are as hollow as bamboo.

It was time to take action. Someone had to be the disciplinarian and I figured I might as well take it on.

It took being embarrassed by my three year old about 20 times (while on vacation) that if I don’t nip this attitude of “No, you’re not the boss of me” in the bud every time I reprimand him that at 18 he’ll most likely be behind bars. And since mama doesn’t do well in organized group settings, or think that my son will survive on bread and water and since I can’t see myself talking to my precious baby through a glass divider it was time that I threw the hammer down.

I expressed my concerns to my sister and she told me of a good strategy to use. To basically give your child a positive and negative option (using an If/then statement) when behaving badly, such as:

Vacation ! Vacation!

By Deanna

Ahhh vacation! Why is it so hard to return to life after vacation, lazing in the sun, drinking by the lake, playing double dare, vombie bowling, lawn games...what the hell kind of vacation is that? It's a vacation at Woodloch Pines a resort in Hawley Pennsylvania, (Hawley what?) that is just amazing.

I dubb it the Disney of the East Coast and I do that for two very important reasons: 1) The kids LOVE IT. 2) The Hospitality is ridiculous. Think I'm kidding, ask my kids where their favorite place in the world is, they'll say Woodloch. My nephew cried for two days (while we were still at the resort) because he knew the end was near. We play ridiculous silly games so that we can try (but fail each year) to medals like double dare, blockbuster, lake and pool games, bingo, family fued, name that tune (to name a few), but they also have a world class golf course, bumper cars, bumper boats, a rock climbing wall, zip line, skeet shooting, go karts, paddle boats, fishing, canoe's, kayak's, two pools, a kiddie pool, a spray park for kids (and adults!), tennis, gym, volley ball (beach and court), wallyball, bikes, a nature walk, two days a week they bring in horses and a petting zoo, they stage a awesome outdoor concert...and the night time activities horse racing, shows, bar games (wish I was in my twenties again!), Texas hold'em tourney's, there is so much more that I know I am missing!

The hospitaltity is great for many reasons but for my family with a dad permanently in a wheelchair they've met many many needs. Need a electric wheelchair charger? They got it! Need a ramp in any part of the resort, they got it? Need a van with a wheelchair attachement? They've got it! Need a albino squirrel that can sing show tunes, they'll get it! And the staff from the front desk, to the kitchen, to the mainteance, to the social staff are so nice, so nice, like too nice, like let me see you get upset once so I know you're human nice. Ya know! This vacation at Woodloch Pines is the "BIG" family vacation with 25 Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Neices and Nephews, and it's something we all look forward to every year. This crew has been going for 10 years, and my husband has been going for over 19 years. We love it!

Take a look at how much fun we had:

I Know This Much Is True - Vacation Edition

By Deanna

*Vacation rules I don't care the stress or exhaustion that occurs leading up to the vacation, the 8 days away is worth it!

*Traveling with 25 people requires patience, A LOT OF PATIENCE!

*Running, and weight lifting have been so easy on vacation, just wish the frozen lemonade and vodkas would stay away from my mouth, not sure who keeps putting them there?? Hmmmm......

*Going to gain weight no matter what so enjoy, and understand that vacation is not about that, no matter how hard my days can be they will never be as tough as other people in this world the complaining should stop now, I'm on vacation now, so yeah stop complaining FOREVER.

*I wish I could take everyone to Woodloch Pines, it's really is the greatest place on earth, more on that when we return.

*My three year old acts like he's 13 attitude and all, trying to stop the hollow threats (yes, even on vacation there has been the naughty lounge chair) cause when he's 13 he can't act like he's 23.

*This is a crappy resort computer, I forgot the laptop, and the resort computer won't let me upload any photos. I have the best pictures - really I do, you'd all be jealous! Annoying.

Okay folks, later potato, going water skiing, or go down the water slide, or veg by the pool, or maybe play family fued, double dare, amazing race...or maybe just lounge lake side with a frozen lemonade and vodka...yea that's the ticket!