I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna

*$8.99 = happiness. The seven year now has a leash for his lizard. This has made him a deliriously happy boy. How does the lizard feel about this? Well, you decide:




*Hangovers are not for 40 year olds. Someone please make the pounding stop.

*My inherited tuned-up bike is the bomb-diggity! Knocked out 12 miles today with ease, and followed it up with a 3 mile run. Total brag, get over it!

*My hubby is awesome, a total Ogre in the morning but come 11:00 a.m. he's plain awesome.

I picked my battle

By Deanna



Today while I was doing a very small brick for my Tri, I contemplated why I sign up for these races. Why? Why do I torture myself? The challenge? The push? To see what I’m made of? Nah!

The other day my three year old was begging, pleading and saying that he had to have hot chocolate or he’d die. Really hot chocolate? Die? Really? It was 90 degrees with 100% humidity. Ummm okay.

Every day it’s something new with this kid and whatever he’s wants he has to have it yesterday. Whether it’s a bagel, a beetle, a baseball mitt or a block, if it gets in his head, he wants it when he wants it NOW.

I started to argue with him but then decided to just stop. Pick your battles Deana, pick your battles.

You want hot chocolate on a 90 degree day? Sure, I’d be happy to make it for you.

I prepared the hot chocolate gave it to the three year old and warned him that it was hot. He then demanded that I add milk to cool it off, since this is the battle
I choose I obliged.

No less than two minutes later Hubby and I heard from the three year olds lips, very faintly as if he was whispering in church:

“For God’s sake I’m in bad trouble now”.

And that my friend was my battle streaming down the couch and all over the floor.

Cleary answers my question above.

Race Six of Twelve: 5K

By Deanna



I ran my sixth race of year yesterday! I can’t believe six months have passed, time really flies. I use to hate that saying but I believe I say it every day now. Ugh!

Katie’s Run is a 5k race that honors the memory of Katie McBride a young girl that suffered from Childhood Leukemia. The run honors Katie but it also supports the Ronald McDonald House of Long Island and the family services it offers. The love, support, and just general community togetherness are what I love best about local races. These type of races puts life into perspective, you realize how blessed you are, and it’s just general awesomeness.

This race, my sixth race was a dozy of a race. It was another race where I thought I was going to kill it. Didn't happen. I was literally dragging my ass from mile one. I raced with my close friend who just started running again, and she whipped my ass. The course was flat, with a few small inclines that weaved in and out of a local community. I was excited for the race because I’ve been training for my Tri, and wanted to see where I was at with my running. My excitement dissipated at mile one when the sun was beating down on me with no shade in sight. I was so thirsty. I felt I was drinking my salvia just to stay quenched.

All I could think about during the race was how horrible I felt, my mental game certainly did me in. I started going over what I ate, why I ate it, and that I really have to focus on eating better. I was kicking my ass for not being more mindful with my food choices. I really need to eat less processed snacks. Before the race I was batting this around with my friend and it just resonated with me during the race. I will never get faster, stronger or become a better runner if I keep eating the way I am eating.

So yesterday I started to eat more mindful, and I survived! Does this mean that I will never eat another chip?! Hell no, like Grandma Pitta said “Everything in moderation!” but I will certainly make much better choices, it’s kinda of pointless if I don’t, I’d just be spinning my wheels. Right?

Nevertheless as I was about three tenths of a mile from the finish line a woman in the crowd looked at me square in the eye and as I gave her a half-assed I can’t wait till this is over smile she said to me “Take the girl in the purple”, and that my friends is exactly what I did. I hauled assed chicked two guys, and the gal in purple! I ended the run smiling to say the least - I think this woman knew exactly what I needed.

My result was 35 minutes but my friends watch said 32 minutes, WTF? Split the difference?

Weekly Update: Training For a Tri

By Deanna


17 days till my Tri. Time is moving faster than a speeding bullet and as each day goes by I’m getting more anxious about this event. I know that individually each event is so doable and I’ll be fine but when I think of having to run after swimming and biking, I can throw-up. Seriously.

In an effort to not die on the course I know that I need strong legs, so I took my weight training seriously this week and actually did some of the Nike Training Club workouts that were awesome. I did so many squats I couldn’t walk for two days. I love that kinda of pain.

This week I also accomplished an open water swim. If anyone is training for a Tri, I highly recommend that they get their asses in the open water because there is a huge difference between the pool and the open water. I am glad that my friend James insisted that I get in the water, because what a difference! To be able to experience the feel of the open water, the salt, and being disoriented is well worth the effort of dragging the kids to the beach. I was swimming so off course that I literally swam into a gal playing with her son. As I tried to get out of their way I stood up and I was as graceful as an elephant in a ballet shoes. While I was going down, I hit the water like a ton of bricks but I saw that this woman was jacked, so physically fit -by just looking at her arms. I knew she was a tri-athlete and a runner. Maybe it was the althele in me, cause as a wanna-be I can totally I spy the Barbie dolls with the sick bodies who eat a banana, and a granola bar for the entire day, do step aerobics to burn that off versus the athletes who well take their body and training seriously. This woman takes training seriously. As we started talking she disclosed that she has done plenty of Tri’s, half-iron mans, and was currently eyeing a full iron-man, holy impressive! Not only impressive but as nice as can be- I was blown away that a perfect stranger was willing to spend time with me, and give me some very valuable tips regarding how to sight and how to breathe in the water, she even complimented my stroke, so of course my ego loved that!

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna



*That my cutie pie three year old is positively adorable! When he tries to remember something in the past he says “a long long day ago” as if: “Mama remember when we went to the park a long long day ago?” Adorable? Positively!!

*MizFitOnline is the bomb-diggity. She's a trail blazing fitness blogger and she has re-launched her campaign to appear on The Ellen Show, she wants to educate the world on fitness while having fun! Naturally Ellen is the perfect platform, don’t ya think? So pop over to MizFitOnline and support her!

*There are rude and misbehaved children in this world because they learn from their rude and misbehaved parents. End.Of.Story.

*The Nike Training Club App is awesome! I downloaded it for the iphone of course and we are now upgrading the honeymoon to the Italian and French Rivera! In LOVE! Killer workouts, I can't walk today, must of done 100 squats. Check it out!

*Peanut butter stuffed pretzels. Heaven.

Stand Tall

By Deanna

This was published in March 2011, and since it's Father's Day, it deserves to be posted again.



Sit up straight. Stand up. No slouching. I find myself telling, okay screaming at my kids to do this at the dinner table, at the movies, in a restaurant, ALL the TIME. I remember my parents telling; okay screaming at me and my sisters about this too. Funny how times change, how I am really becoming my mother (sans the insane cleaning sessions on Saturday, or ummmm...ever), and yes my father. I am becoming my father too, right down to the “um, it might be MS, not sure, but let’s keep you under close observation”.

Oh my father, my dear old dad this man battling MS for over 37 years and has been confined to a wheelchair for over 12 years has taught me so many life lessons; beside playing cards in the pool, to surface cleaning so we can get out of the house quickly…you know just dust the tops of the furniture, rearrange the couch cushions, and to basically “straighten” (sorry mom!), and how to eloquently bust balls with the best of them. My father is the best ball buster in the world, from throwing wet wash cloths on our face to wake us up; to teasing me about getting back to my “fighting weight”, to actually telling one of my brothers-in-laws to run when he asked for my sister’s hand in marriage, yes in between all that he has taught us valuable life lessons.

Weekly Update: Training For A Tri

By Deanna



23 days and counting to my first triathlon, holy crisps! I can’t believe it’s coming so quick, time is flying! I had a great workout week and finally jumped in the pool. I know! I know! I was taking the swimming for granted because I swam in High School, although I wasn’t the strongest on the team but I do consider myself a stronger swimmer than the average Joe. Nevertheless, I finally got in the pool and it felt great! I completed a brick of a half mile swim, a three mile bike ride, and a mile run. I was so happy that I could accomplish it all and really pumped to continue my training. I’ve incorporated more strength training which makes me really happy, because I know the thighs, calves, glutes will need to be as strong as possible. I do need to get my bike tuned up, because it is ridiculous. It’s by no means suitable for a Tri, but it’s all I got, and I can’t invest in a new bike until I am sure I want to continue with these types of races.

Tomorrow is basically TRI day! If the weather holds out I’m totally going to the beach but before I go, I am taking my bike into the shop to see what they can do. And than I hit the beach! I plan on doing an open swim in the bay- the kids should be fine by themselves for 20 minutes or so, right?

KIDDING!!

My friend is coming with me and little does she know she'll be playing nanny for a good twenty minutes...maybe I can even escape for longer and catch a few rays without sand being thrown at me or better yet, sneak a brew at the beach shack! A gal can dream...

Have a great weekend!!

Secret Society of Moms

By Deanna



My three-year old is a pathological liar – he lies about everything and anything. If we ask him if he threw out his juice box he’ll say “Yes”, meanwhile it’s sitting right next to him. If I ask he has two hands and he’ll say “No”. Um really? If we ask him what he had for lunch he’ll say Gummy Bears – but that might not be a lie if his Dad is with him. But nonetheless, I’m not sure if it’s a three year old thing, or if it’s something I may of passed down to him, read here.

Just recently when we were out to dinner the three-year old darted to the bathroom. Of course, he just missed a waitress with gazillon trays. As I got up to chase him, I, of course, almost took down the same waitress. You know this waitress wanted to chuck those trays at us or mess up our order. Nevertheless, when we arrived at the restroom the little bugger insisted on going into the men’s room by himself I stuck my head in to make sure no one was in there. As I stood guard at the door I kept peeking in and asking “are you alright?” for what seemed like eternity. When he finally exited I asked him if he washed his hands. He replied enthusiastically with a “yes, see!” and threw up his hands. I knew something was off. Being a wise ass I took a look, took a wiff and said “are you fibbing?” he promptly said “no!” I said “well, I have eyes in the back of my head, so I’ll know if you’re fibbing” he said “I took out the eyes in the back of your head when you were sleeping”. As I dragged his tushie back into the bathroom I realized that I was trying to play intellectual ping-pong with a three-year old. Dumb ass, that’s me.

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna

* Any form or amount of exercise is better than sitting on the couch - even if you have bike and running races in a school parking lot with your children in the morning - at an ungodly hour. It's still exercise.

*The three year old can snap. The seven year old can't and he's taking it very well.

*Our bearded dragon Scales 2 is one mean little mother efffer. We just want to love him, and he won't let us. It won't stop us from trying though, I imagine if he was a teenager he'd be totally misunderstood, in the Goth crew.

*My husband sleeps till 10:00 every weekend day - when he's not saving lives with the FDNY - and I think it's totally unfair. I'd like to sleep till 7:00 a.m. thank you very much.

*It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field - Still working on this one but it moved me!

* If you want something you have to go and get it. Whether that "something" is a glass of water, a new bra or want to change your career - if you want it go get it.

I'm Going To The Chapel!

By Deanna



I love my iphone. I really do. I am so in love with my iphone that I told my children that I was going to marry it. My three year old said “you can’t marry a phone”, my seven year old said “what are ya gunna have little baby iphones?” in which I replied “wouldn’t that be great little bitty iphones”.

I love that I can tweet at all times, man oh man I love tweeting, playing angry birds is fun however I am embarrassed that I’ve made it to level seven and my seven year old is on level twenty-one, yeah sad! Words with friends is Scrabble on crack they accept words that aren’t even in the Webster dictionary, and Lose it! Is a GREAT food and exercise tracker, it’s keeping me so on track, I am actually scared for myself, but it’s keeping me honest! Just as an FYI to the Lose It! App folks – please add more foods, the fact that I can’t add something as simple as a medium size peach with the skin is redunkulous! I don’t have many apps, not sure if I’ll be app happy, the three I have now are is enjoyable, any more and I may be a little overwhelmed.

Should I go on? The note pad is awesome I record my grocery lists, blog post ideas, websites, and restaurants that I see and vow that I will remember but never do; the calendar is so accessible, and texting is so much fun with those little bubbles, oh boy I am smitten! Everything is so easy and literally at my finger tips.

And because I am in love with my iphone I was told by one sister (who just doesn’t get it) that I am a rude cell phone user. Really? Okay. My mother said my husband may leave me cause I’m on it so much. Really? Over a cell phone? I mean Anthony Weiner’s wife is staying with him and he sexted his bits over and over and over again, I never did that.

I will say that it the iphone is definitely a security blanket for me, and can make me a little unsocial if I am on the line at a store, or at school pick up and not talking to anyone, but I’m working on that, in the meantime, I’m going to see if I can get a little tuxedo made for my iphone as I got me a wedding to plan! Won’t my boys make the cutest ring bearers?

* I found an error (actually two) after I hit publish...and I fixed it on my iphone. Honeymooon will NOW be upgraded: Italian Riveria.

Training For A Tri

By Deanna



I have 34 days till my very first triathlon. And today after my first real brick of riding 10 miles, and running 1.3 my first thoughts were 1) holy macaroni I can do this 2) holy canoli this is what spaghetti legs feel like 3) my bike sucks and I felt like I was peddling backwards and 4) it’s time to step up my weight training game. Big time.

The training has been phenomenal I love that each day is something different, but after today I realized that if I don’t step up my weight training and core game I will fall into the same trap with my last half marathon wherein all I focused on was running and “forgot” all about doing anything else.

So as of today I take a vow that I will pull out all stops with the weight training, and in no time I will be #strongerandtoned. I vow to do planks, sit-ups and core work on a daily basis, even if it’s one or two planks a day, and a hundred sit-ups, it will happen.

I owe it to myself to be the best possible me, or why even go through the rigmarole of training? Right?

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna



*You can’t control crazy.

*Be kind to yourself and love yourself – unconditionally.

*Killing ‘em them with kindness has proved to be very successful
Thank you Mom!

*Did I say how much I LOVE training for a triathlon? Cause I do! I love it!

*Support comes in all forms, keep your eyes out or you’ll miss it!

I'm raising Bluto.

By Deanna




I work full time so I don't usually have the pleasure of picking up my son from school. When I do have the opportunity I like to arrive at the school a little early to speak to my three year olds teacher to find out if he’s been in the naughty corner, what he ate for lunch, and if he basically behaved. I know my three year old is a well behaved boy, but he's more of a fraternity boy trapped in a three year olds body. I am actually nervous for him when he does go to College because I was doing keg stands and funnels from my kitchen counter. My husband’s Frat hosted parties that routinely threw down the slip and slide, covered it with beer and slid down bare-ass, naked as jail birds. Chances are our wildness has trickled down to this boy.

Yesterday as we were getting ready to start the day to head to school and torture oh I mean work my son had his penis on display as if he was Ron Jeremy (sans the fat white ass, hairy chest and grossness). He waved his penis around the house as if it was a garden hose. He made the appropriate sound effects “sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” as if he was going to the bathroom, and acted as if this was the best toy that I ever gave him. I couldn’t escape his ass, his penis or anything else associated with his private parts for our quick two hour morning routine - at one point when I was blow drying my hair my son positioned his bare ass on me and farted – and this is coming from a boy that whenever he uses the bathroom – needs his privacy.

This little “act” is a daily occurrence with both my boys and I actually think I am living in the Animal House fraternity, the fact that my three year has pulled as many gross stunts as Bluto means that one day I can literally expect him to start screaming “Toga! Toga! Toga!“ and I won't be shocked.

Now you understand why I run!

So suffice it to say, it was quite the accomplishment as a mom, a definite shock and a proud mommy moment when I went to pick him up from nursery school that the teacher told me that he has the best manners in the entire class. The entire class? Frat boys can have good manners! I was blushing, gushing and now actually have legit bragging rights aside from him climbing out our window, throwing two bars of soap down our toilet (in one week) and having the biggest farts for a three year old.

I guess drilling into his head to say “Thank you, please, and may I” between the burps, farts and penis waving really sunk in.