Congratulations It's A ???????

By Deanna



I’ve read countless blog posts, articles, arguments and have thrown myself into several face-to-face and twitter discussions regarding the latest parenting controversy – Genderless parenting. When it first came up, I thought what the hell is that? And when I found out that it’s when parents decide not to put any emphasis on what gender their child is, like parents Kathy Witterick and David Stocker who are raising their third child genderless, I was confused.

Genderless? YES! Genderless! Am I speechless? Absolutely NOT!

When I first read the article about Witterick and Stocker a billion “things” popped in my head. First and foremost, what a pain in the ass to keep this secret; the baby is four months old only a few chosen people and the siblings know the baby’s gender, what a tremendous burden these parents have put on these people and their five and two year old children. Do they really expect a five and two year to have the constraint not to say anything? Not to slip? I mean if they are successful these kids should be tested for Mensa because I can’t think of one five year old that can keep a secret. The fact they these children haven’t slipped up has me wondering what the hell they did to bribe their children to keep their traps shut. But what actually has me speechless is the fact that for four months this mother and father have had no help in regard to dressing, bathing, or changing their baby. Mercy me! I definitely would of jumped out a window after four months of straight diaper changing – that’s roughly 1,200 diapers! That alone would send me to the nearest Staples to order a billboard declaring “It’s a Boy!” or “it’s a Girl!”

The parents made the decision not to disclose the sex of their baby because they “believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females.” Hogwash. Their theory, beliefs, desires of raising a children unconstrained by the social norms seems like a direct contradiction of what they don’t want to do - by not letting the child identify with who they were born to be they are now forcing the child to be something that they may have never been.

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna



*Training for a triathlon has been so much fun! I really needed a relief from running so much, but still run does that make sense? So happy I am doing it!

*The iphone rules. End of story.

*The power of family is something I can never replace, witnessed in much sorrow: love & so much strength this last week-everyone should be as blessed as me and my family.

* Do we really need another Reality TV show? Enough already! Love in the Wild? Really another dating show? Survivor meets Bachelor – please! The Voice of America? Really another singing competition? Please!! I know there are original ideas out there c'mon Hollywood get it together!!!

*The seven year old is trying new foods daily! Read this on ModernMom.com- holy crap it's working!!!!

Race Five of Twelve: 5k

By Deanna



Yesterday was my fifth race of the year, a local 5k (John Theissen's Children Foundation) to support students with special needs. I thought it would be a good, flat course to continue with my yearly goal of a race a month. I am training for a Triathlon – so in my eyes any running would benefit me. I asked a few people to join me but the only takers were my friend James, and Julie. James is the friend that convinced me to do the Tri, and the husband of dear friend, whose hair rivaled mine in the 80’s. I bug him on a weekly basis with all the races that I do. And Julie, well, Jules is my girl, one my closest friends, one of the gals that got me into running, and whom I have done almost every race with.

When Julie and I run, we have a mutual understanding that we’ll meet at the finish line, if we happen to see each other on the course, we slap a few asses, talk a little than motor. We never ever stay together, ever. I have run three out of my four half marathons with Julie, and almost every 10k, 5k or Relay (Ragnar, Sound-to-Shore), as well as with at least three other friends/sisters/husband/family - we’ve all trained together but NEVER raced together. To me, it’s stressful I never want to hold anyone back, and frankly when I have the opportunity to haul ass, I take it, cause I am not sure when it’s ever going to happen again.

Scaredy Cat

By Deanna



Scaredy cat, yep that’s me. Last year I wrote a post on all my fears and how they were exacerbated after I had children, since that post, I’ve been working on these illogical issues, and over the year I have definitely gotten a little better but I still follow a pretty detailed ritual before bed each night, and especially when my husband is working the ‘ole “24” with the FDNY. This ritual was taken to a whole new level when one night I realized that the outside light blew out. Ever since 20/20, Oprah, and probably Sally Jesse Raphael did a show on how to “protect-your-house-from-bad-dudes” wherein the “experts”, whoever they may be, determined that a burglar, home-invasion, potential rapist, adduction, and any other terrible crime that streams through your mind after you watch Friday the 13th at 2:00.am, advised that these crimes are less likely to occur if your outside light is on. Since 1990 I’ve kept my outside light on, and insist that everyone else does too. I actually have chimed in on the line at Target spouting these statistics as if I reported it myself. But I digress.

When I went to turn on the outside light and it failed to illuminate my porch steps I went into a complete panic. For what seemed like 10 minutes I was just staring outside wondering my next steps. When we all know there is only one next step to a burnt out light bulb. Get a new light bulb. To the closet I went. When I found that there were no light bulbs I literally went into stealth mode as if I was given highly classified documents with the mission of “how to protect-your-house-from-bad-dudes-when-your-usual-routine-fails” by Leon Panetta himself (ahem…the Director of the CIA).

I Want, I Want, I Want....

By Deanna


I want a new bike, I want a laptop, ipad, flat screen TVs for every room, I want a new car, I want new walls, molding and I want to paint those new walls and moldings too, I want to re-do my kitchen, I want new appliances, and man oh man I want a new navy blue front loading washing machine and dryer, I want new couches, I want sod for my backyard, I want a new patio, I want a pool, I want a running coach, I want new running clothes, heck I want new every day clothes, I want new shoes, I want new makeup, I want to take my kids on a tropical vacation, to Europe, shit how about California to visit my sister? I want, I want I want, I WANT.

My kids want more toys, a dog, Xbox 360, every Wii video game out there,they want go to Disney & on African Safari, they want a pool, a slide from their bedroom to the pool, they want whatever they don’t have and for Christ’s sake these kids have a lot.

These things, wants, were charging through my head like speedracer as I was shopping with my mom and sister. I was walking around the stores thinking about all the stuff that I couldn’t buy and everything I wanted and I got a little depressed. I started thinking that having a never ending supply of money to buy or do whatever the HELL I want, we want, would be unbelievable. And then I started thinking about how I can get that type of money, I could rob a bank? But I don’t look good in stripes, I can work another job (imagine me trying to manage life with another job, I can barely hold this together, another 6 hours of crap would send me to the looney bin), I can play the lotto daily but that would be wasting money on wanting money, I could get my kids into modeling – they’re cute enough, at least that’s what the mall modeling scout says, (said with sarcasm).

Post-Race Blues

By Deanna

I'm a guest writer at the wonderful website Loving The Run today, check out my post:



Funk at Loving The Run

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna




*It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

*My parents are the best ever, the support, love, gifts they bestow on myself and my sisters is ridiculous. I just hope I can do for my children what they have done for me, if nothing else I will be able to support and love them unconditionally, cause you don't need bucks to give love, that's for damn sure!

*At my tender age of 40 I am learning that focusing on the positive, finding that silver lining, no matter how hard it is to find is a better way to spend your time; focusing on the negative, wallowing in a pool of self-pity is draining, and who the hell needs that...just saying!

*Coaching three & four year olds in blastball is harder than running a
half-marathon. Holy Crisps!

Happy Mother's Day

By Deanna

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

- Washington Irving

A Book Review "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"

By Deanna


When the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” hit the bookshelves the controversy lit up the skies as if it was July 4th. As the fireworks started and the author Amy Chua, her “Chinese Mothering”, and her children were under attack I became completely fascinated by the topic I mean c’mon I’m the Unnatural Mother, a complete antithesis of Amy Chua, and the Chinese parenting model.

The excerpts and the reviews that I read online at The Wall Street Journal, New York Times and several other sites made Amy Chua out to be Hitler. I read that her children weren’t allowed to have playdates, attend sleepovers, be in a school play, not be the number one student in every class except gym and drama - needless to say my interest was piqued; when I read that her daughter sat at the piano for hours upon hours trying to learn a piece without water, or the opportunity to go to the bathroom I was horrified, and then went straight to my nook and ordered the book, I had to read this. I had to read about this tyrant mom that is the complete opposite of me.

And I read, and read and read, I couldn’t put the book, um my nook down. I read the book in three hours. It was that good, no it was that great. Amy Chua encapsulates the theories behind both Chinese parenting and Western parenting with intelligence and satire, which seems to be the way she lives her life.

I Know This Much Is True

By Deanna



*It doesn't matter if your run is the best run ever or completely craptastic, the feeling of finishing, of accomplishing your task is a feeling that needs to be bottled, NOW!

*I am still eating egg salad, and I still have 1/2 dozen hard boiled eggs left. Help me.

*$5 bucks is not enough for a tooth, didn't realize I needed to be Rockefeller but my 7 year old claimed that "he wanted more" WTF? I have created a monster.

*I am 7 days past due on my hair color and just got called M'am...I am sure that these two are related.

*When my sons baseball games are cancelled, my heart sings, bad mommy!

Leave The Fat Girl Home

By Barbara Ward-Finneran



"Leave the fat girl home!" Those can be wicked words. Words that sting to the core of a girl's being; whether just a few pounds over ideal weight or obese - no female I know, "out there", fancies being referred to as "fat"!

Having "found myself", after being morbidly obese for longer than I can to admit to, I recently learned that "Leave the fat girl home!" is something I now must mentally say to myself. In this process of recovery, I have embraced that you choose everyday which direction to walk on your personal journey. Mistakes happen. Sometimes you take steps backward. There are days you leap ahead. However, for me, I know I have company on the adventure - for I have a "fat soul" and it will never leave me.

Nor do I want "her" to; she has brought me to the place I am today. Two years and over 90 pounds later, you'd think I wouldn't be caught off guard by my own reflection in a window or building. Prior to my complete lifestyle change the image would mortify me. I had learned to hide from the camera and avoid mirrors - but your reflection just can't be ignored. Now it's quite the opposite of humiliation when I "see" myself - but, it is still accompanied by disbelief at times just the same; I do a double take and don't believe it's me. The normal sized, dare I even say small and attractive frame is me. The brain takes a while to catch up when your body goes from sizes 24 and better, to tens and eights. Feeling good. Feeling healthy and active hasn't completely dissolved those "fat girl" images from my mind, some go as hauntingly far back as childhood before I "thinned out" in high school.