I need Balance.
I need Balance.
I need Balance.
If I say enough do you think I’ll find it?
As a 58 pound loser, that had a seven month spread in the national recognized Health Magazine documenting my weight loss; guidance, help and support from a world class nutritionist, an amazing trainer and gym membership at one of the most exclusive gyms in the country FREE mind you, who has run five half marathons, two Ragnar Relay’s, completed my first Tri, and has completed countless 5 and 10k’s you’d think that I’d be preaching what balance is, and what it means to myself in the least!
And I do. I do. I REALLY do. But I guess I really don’t cause I keep falling off that damn balance wagon way too much.
What does balance mean to me? Eating right (no processed foods, three fruits, five veggies a day, lean protein with three “treats” a week) exercising regularly and if I happen to veer off my healthy eating path and head over to “Bagel Lane” or “Pizza Alley” or the “Beer Garden” that I’m able to get back on the right path the next day, and if I happen to hit some rocks in the road and get all emotional that I’m able to successfully work through my emotions instead of stuffing them with food.
I know that balance starts with me that I am responsible for my own actions but I swear there is a switch in my brain that flips from normal (ok that might be questionable) to “go eat and fill that emotion with ANY food you can find” when life throws those rocks at me (those rocks can be anything from a car accident to my four year olds tantrum to well anything) and when it happens it’s a domino effect; and I’m heading straight for the path of destruction, and if I don’t get off that path right then and there I better hold on tight cause it’s going to be a bumpy ride filled with emotions, depression and eating lots of crap. And than fast forward two weeks and five pounds later, depression is now leading to despair and I’m so off course that the only thing that will help me get back on my healthy living path is a swift kick in the ass, or a frying pan to the head. And really who wants that?
But seriously I don’t want to go through life with its many bumps and get derailed every time, I want to be able to balance my emotions and food whenever life gets too crazy, or when my children get sick, or I don’t PR at a race – without feeling that the only way to feel good is in the comfort of a donut sliding down my throat; or how about enjoying a weekend away with a few libations, maybe a steak, potatoes and some apple crisp and not feel like I just murdered a kitten. That’d be nice.
So my question to myself is: how do I stay on my healthy living path when life throws some rocks on the road, or when life just happens? I’m not sure I have a clear answer to my question, but as I write this post I believe the only answer for me is to try and feel my emotions, talk or write through them and to develop some sort of mantra to repeat over and over and over again that will physically stop me from running to the biggest bag of chips to fill my emotional holes. And really, do I need that grease on my fingertips? My kids stain enough of my clothes.
*Post was orignally published at Becoming Rooks.