I Know This Much Is True

1) Hot Yoga is HOT, and there was more tooting in that studio than my house, which is quite an accomplishment.

2) Post Marathon Blues is a valid "emotion", "thing". Thankfully for me they are slowly slipping away. Two very active and very goofy kids and a pair of tight pants slapped my butt into gear. Thank you!

3) Candy Corn is addicting. The ENTIRE house has a candy corn addiction, it's now ALL in the garbage.

4) In LIFE you make choices, you can choose to be happy or miserable. Happiness requires more work, but is more rewarding. Regardless, whichever you choose, you're choice effects your mind, body, children, family and friends, so choose wisely.

5) 61 Sleeps, 16 Hours, 26 Minutes & 23 seconds...(and counting) till Christmas!!!

A Halloween Treat

I went shopping for Halloween costumes the other day. I actually trained for the event, I struggled through a most harrowing 5k in the morning, took a hot shower to release the tension and I did some yoga to ease the mind. I had to be as fit and mentally strong as I could. I knew this would be a battle. I even "ran through" the outing in my head, much like Olympic athletes. I pictured myself running down the aisles after the three year old with ten costumes in one hand, my phone in the other, trying desperately not to fall on my ass because I insisted on wearing those chic new boots that I had to have! After that I role-played with a stuffed animal and acted out the crying fest that the soon-to-be-seven-year old would have, I figured out the right “verbiage” and tone to use to calm him down when the costumes didn't fit, were too scratchy, or wasn't the right color blue; after that I actually made a list of all possible scenarios that could go wrong, and strategically developed well-thought out solutions. For example, if there were large crowds I had a escape route written on my hand, and even wore the biggest sweater I had so there was enough cushion to push through the crowds and not bruise; if there were other whiney obnoxious kids I made sure I had two songs that I can loop over and over in my head to drown them out. I felt I was prepared for this battle much like General MacArthur when he stormed the beach at Normandy.

Life FAIL

I ran my third half marathon 13 days ago. The best part of the entire race was seeing my family at the most integral spots on the course Mile 9 and 11. It was an absolute thrill and extremely motivating to see my husband and the two little buggers!! First time ALL my men were at one of my races, loved it!

This was my slowest half marathon time EVER. I am disappointed that I didn't knock the cover off the ball, but who the hell was I kidding? I only trained for six weeks, and I am not Deena Kastner. Um, so, I am thinking that I should be damn proud that I was only 5 minutes slower, but instead; I've been acting like my three year old when I told him no to the second piece of cake. If I could have had a full-on tantrum thrown myself on the floor, kicked, screamed I would have. Because I am 40and can't really do that, I did what Deanna does best. I took it out on my body, my children and hubby. Nice!

In the last 13 days, I only worked-out five days. My family has eaten more processed food than we have in the last year. Because we've eaten this crap it makes me feel gross and sluggish. Because I was feeling gross and sluggish, my mood has not been great, because my mood has not been great I've been snapping at the kids, because I've been snapping at the kids they've have not been on their best behavior, because they have not been on their best behavior I've gotten more pissy, have cared less about planning good healthy meals, because I haven't planned good meals, I've been feeling gross and sluggish and have not gotten up to work-out and because I have not been getting up to work-out, my mood has gotten worse and because my mood got worse, we've been eaten even more crappy processed food....And the cycle continues.

Texting...It's Not Just For Teenagers!

I love and hate texting for one reason and one reason only: Communication. Texting is fun, it’s quick, and it’s easy. I can fire off a text to make someone laugh faster than Mario Andretti at the Indy. In my youth, I’d go to any length to make someone laugh, I actually spent a full year in therapy trying to undo why I’d randomly moon my friends or drive through a toll-booth topless. With texting SWOOP it’s easy and it doesn’t cost me my dignity. On the other hand, what a frickin' distraction; I decided to make a quick stop in Target to pick up last minute baking items for the two year olds now three year olds birthday party. All I needed was brownie mix, quick and easy run in & run out, 10 minutes top, throw kids in the cart, race to the aisle as if I am on “Supermarket Sweep” and call it a day. The first mistake was not throwing the kids in the cart fell to their big blue puppy dog eyes and plea’s of “I’ll be good, I’ll hold your hand, I promise”. Now the three year old is running rampage in the baking aisle, sweat is pouring down my neck as I dodge brownie mix, my hand is numb because I’m white knuckling my phone (gosh forbid I miss a text), then as I grab the little one by the collar my hand slips and I hit the floor. As I am going down the box of brownies hits my head and my seven year old explodes laughter. While I try to recover I can see the back of the three year old I as he hightails it down the aisle towards the mini marshmallows and guess what? The phone is still in my hand. Now that’s talent.

I blame my bruised ass-bone on texting; I can’t sit for a week but guess what… I can text! Texting has definitely brought my multi-tasking skills to a whole new level – now I have even more balls in the air, balls that I am certainly not catching. Unfortunately, it’s not me who suffers, it’s my poor kids. In my defense, I figure I’m already screwing them up, might as well throw a little more on their plate, I mean they have a mother who works full time, has enough guilt to fill Yankee Stadium, can barely get out the door showered, who screams more than she likes, and now they have to have to deal with a texting addiction? They’ll be in therapy anyway, may as well lay it on as thick as I can, if I had to go to therapy they have to too, except, I’ll probably feel guilty and pay the damn bill. I also found out that besides that fact that you can raise your kids properly and text you also cannot multi-task. Believe me I’ve tried eating, drinking, and showering while texting. It does not work. I also try not to text while driving but sometimes I do. Another horrible example for my kids, it’s bad enough they think it’s okay to pick their teeth in public, and can fart on command, but this is well, really poor parenting.

I Know This Much is True...

Totally ripping off Oprah, oh well, sue me!

1) The farting in my house will only get worse as the boys get older.

2) When the boys hit puberty, I will declare every first Sunday of the Month "Queen For a Day" and go for full day of beauty - the works - spa, massages (no happy endings, get your mind out of the gutter!), mani/pedi etc. ripping off another talk show, Thank You Maury!

3) Quoting TV Shows & Movies is a total male thing to do, the boys now quote Sponge Bob, Madagascar, & any Boomerang show on a daily basis.

4) When Matthew goes to Kindergarten, I am going to make him train for a full marathon with me. HA! Kidding! Imagine a six year old running 26.2 miles? In two years, I will train for a full marathon, figure I'll have the time, the kids will be older and won't care that I've been gone for 4 hours. God Bless all of you who have the time to train, I envy you and your skinny little asses!!

5) There is no balance between a Full Time Mom & Working Mom, all that matters is that you do your best everyday - as long as your "work" knows that your hubby & children will trump it any day!