Monthly Archives: October 2010

I Know This Much Is True

1) Hot Yoga is HOT, and there was more tooting in that studio than my house, which is quite an accomplishment.

2) Post Marathon Blues is a valid “emotion”, “thing”. Thankfully for me they are slowly slipping away. Two very active and very goofy kids and a pair of tight pants slapped my butt into gear. Thank you!

3) Candy Corn is addicting. The ENTIRE house has a candy corn addiction, it’s now ALL in the garbage.

4) In LIFE you make choices, you can choose to be happy or miserable. Happiness requires more work, but is more rewarding. Regardless, whichever you choose, you’re choice effects your mind, body, children, family and friends, so choose wisely.

5) 61 Sleeps, 16 Hours, 26 Minutes & 23 seconds…(and counting) till Christmas!!!

Posted in blues, candy corn, christmas, deanna, half marathon, Mangia Mia Fitness Pia, post half marathon blues, That's Life, The Little Buggers

A Halloween Treat

I went shopping for Halloween costumes the other day. I actually trained for the event, I struggled through a most harrowing 5k in the morning, took a hot shower to release the tension and I did some yoga to ease the mind. I had to be as fit and mentally strong as I could. I knew this would be a battle. I even “ran through” the outing in my head, much like Olympic athletes. I pictured myself running down the aisles after the three year old with ten costumes in one hand, my phone in the other, trying desperately not to fall on my ass because I insisted on wearing those chic new boots that I had to have! After that I role-played with a stuffed animal and acted out the crying fest that the soon-to-be-seven-year old would have, I figured out the right “verbiage” and tone to use to calm him down when the costumes didn’t fit, were too scratchy, or wasn’t the right color blue; after that I actually made a list of all possible scenarios that could go wrong, and strategically developed well-thought out solutions. For example, if there were large crowds I had a escape route written on my hand, and even wore the biggest sweater I had so there was enough cushion to push through the crowds and not bruise; if there were other whiney obnoxious kids I made sure I had two songs that I can loop over and over in my head to drown them out. I felt I was prepared for this battle much like General MacArthur when he stormed the beach at Normandy.

And ya know what happened? Exactly the same thing as MacArthur – I was caught off guard and totally thrown off my game – cause the little bastards were perfect angels. We walked into Party City, calm, cool and collective, the boys marched right over to the ”Costume Wall”, like good little soldiers. I almost hit the floor when I heard “excuse me m’am” come flying out of the their mouths as they shuffled through the crowds to take a look at costumes, which, to my astonishment, were picked out in two minutes flat. We even followed directions from the “Halloween Specialists” to a T, walked on the “monster footprints” on the floor and tried on the costumes without complaints; costumes were agreed upon just like that! I refrained from gloating, and just took in the “OH MY GOD, their so cute” as the other Moms admired my sons and as they struggled with their children. I made it out of Party City without one tear shed and in less than 20 minutes. It was like fairy dust was sprinkled over their heads and they turned into little Stepford Children. It was the most surreal and pleasant shopping experience ever and when I got into the car, there was a man hovering next to me, if I wasn’t already spooked I could of swore Alan Funt rose from the dead ready to shout “Smile, You’re On Candid Camera” but it was only the poor sap next to me trying to wrangle his obnoxious child into the car. All I could do was thank God for once that my kids weren’t the ones making a spectacle, it’s the little things in life that make you smile, that and other peoples obnoxious kids!

Posted in costumes, deanna, halloween, The Little Buggers

Life FAIL

I ran my third half marathon 13 days ago. The best part of the entire race was seeing my family at the most integral spots on the course Mile 9 and 11. It was an absolute thrill and extremely motivating to see my husband and the two little buggers!! First time ALL my men were at one of my races, loved it!

This was my slowest half marathon time EVER. I am disappointed that I didn’t knock the cover off the ball, but who the hell was I kidding? I only trained for six weeks, and I am not Deena Kastner. Um, so, I am thinking that I should be damn proud that I was only 5 minutes slower, but instead; I’ve been acting like my three year old when I told him no to the second piece of cake. If I could have had a full-on tantrum thrown myself on the floor, kicked, screamed I would have. Because I am 40and can’t really do that, I did what Deanna does best. I took it out on my body, my children and hubby. Nice!

In the last 13 days, I only worked-out five days. My family has eaten more processed food than we have in the last year. Because we’ve eaten this crap it makes me feel gross and sluggish. Because I was feeling gross and sluggish, my mood has not been great, because my mood has not been great I’ve been snapping at the kids, because I’ve been snapping at the kids they’ve have not been on their best behavior, because they have not been on their best behavior I’ve gotten more pissy, have cared less about planning good healthy meals, because I haven’t planned good meals, I’ve been feeling gross and sluggish and have not gotten up to work-out and because I have not been getting up to work-out, my mood has gotten worse and because my mood got worse, we’ve been eaten even more crappy processed food….And the cycle continues.

I made the cycle of torture connection yesterday morning when I was getting ready for work, and trying to get the kids off to school. As I was painting on a pair of pants, I caught my skin in the zipper, I screamed in pain, a big old OUCH (way too tight, could not breathe tight) it was at that exact moment that I overheard the kids playing Safari, we were so close to being late for school, something I was really trying to avoid. When I heard that the Lion was hunting the Zebra I actually feel apart and screamed “THE FUCKING LION BETTER BE GETTING HIS SNEAKERS ON, AND ONCE THEY ARE ON, THAT DAMN LION BETTER FIND THE ZEBRA AND GET HIS DAMN SNEAKERS ON TOO, DO IT NOW!!!!!”. This was a guttural scream, from the bellows of the beast inside, think exorcist combined with a WWF wrestler, I actually never heard myself sound like that. I was scared of myself and quite impressed. My poor children stood still, like little statues, they heard me scream before but never to the point of my voice cracking. After they fell over each other to get their sneakers on, I ran to the bathroom and burst out in tears, between sobbing like a infant with my big ole big tears (to match the big ass), and the hyperventilating gasps it hit me that I was so mad because I couldn’t fit into a pair of pants. Pathetic! I poured it all out onto my kids, the poor little buggers. Yes, they were not listening to me, and were goofing off, but they are just kids! I had no right to bellow at them like a beast. Utter Life FAIL.

After I calmed myself down, the kids were still paralyzed – I would be too, if my mom went from an angry beast to a crying mess. I couldn’t do anything else that morning to humiliate us all, so I ever so gently got their butts into the car, late to school again, and shamelessly apologized to the kids. As I was mumbling my way trying to explain to a 3 and 6 year old what I was feeling I half heartily told them I would never act like that again, knowing that I may not be able to keep that promise but I can try. I’m a emotional Italian, and certainly can’t promise that I won’t scream, screaming is like talking to me. As for the health and fitness life fail, the only thing I can do is to get out there like that Zebra being chased by the Lion, and just hope that I run fast and hard enough so I don’t get caught with my skin in the Lion’s teeth again.

Posted in chunky, deanna, emotional, exercise, Mangia Mia Fitness Pia, running