Bite your tongue

My mother-in-law was watching the littlest bugger and when it was time for lunch she asked him to sit in his chair and eat his grilled cheese (btw- my MIL makes a mean grilled cheese). In the typical two-year-old fashion he said “NO!”, she asked again and he said “NO!”, trying to get him to eat as all Grammy’s do, she asked again and he said “NO! Damn it!”

Later that night, my basement was trashed with toys everywhere. I was sick and tired of stepping on little animals, big animals, stuffed animals, and whatever else makes up the thousands of safari set-ups in my basement that I asked the little big bugger to help clean up. I said “Richie, can you help me clean up this mess, Matthew can’t help he’s too little” (basically, he’d just make more of a mess) with that, Richie replied “I know he’s a pain in the ass.”

I laughed so hard I pissed my pants. Is it obvious that I curse too much?

Going Crazy, GONE CRAZY!!

“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind, there was something so pleasant about that place, even your emotions have an echo in so much space” – Gnarls Barkley lyrics.

This is how I feel now, that I lost my freaking mind – and I can probably pinpoint the exact moment when, and where I lost it. The kids are screaming, my husband is lurking around, I still don’t have a job (or as my mom said “this time get a career”, nice eh?) , I probably have a yeast infection, and I am on weight loss odyssey with Health Magazine that is so amazing but has me looking deep into my emotions that has me scared shitless. In addition to this, my hair is gray, my skin is breaking out, laundry is piling up, I still can’t find my mind and with thousands of dollars that I spent on therapy, I still have never learned to manage stress. And I need to. I can’t stuff my stress with food ‘cause that would defeat the Health Magazine journey, so what does a girl do? Make love, or have sex (there is a difference people) but what about that yeast infection? Go for a run – can’t do that ‘cause the hubby is going crazy managing the kids that I have been successfully ignoring for the last two hours, Bueller, Bueller, Anyone? Anyone?

I guess I just need to tackle life head on, stop ignoring the kids, and maybe just maybe be present fully present in my life tonight. That might make tonight a little more stressful however, by the end of the night, I am sure I’ll be laughing at someone in this house – whether the kindergartener is farting on me (on purpose) or the husband starts zinging Seinfeld one-liners, laughter my friends is the best stress reducer, and yes, to be fuckin' corny "Laughter is the best medicine" …and even if you don’t find where you left your mind, at least you’ll be laughing!

Do you want a gift receipt?

I’ve been pondering this thought for a while…probably for the last ten years when the O’ Holy Gift Receipt phenom hit the stores. What is the point? The only purpose I see for the gift receipt is if you buy multiple gifts at one time, therefore you need more than one receipt for each gift - other than that – who gives a rat’s ass. Why the big mystery? Ohhhhh, the gift recipient can’t know how much you spent, keep it a secret, please!! If the gift is returned, the recipient will find out how much the gift costs and at that time, you’ll be taken off the Christmas card list for being a cheap bastard, so you might as well save yourself the time and just not give a gift at all, right? I know this is an insignificant issue compared to what we face in the world (war, poverty, crime…) and I probably shouldn’t sweat the small stuff, but it’s exactly that that pisses me off - those little dumb-ass things. Shouldn’t we be saving the trees? Everything is paperless now; go green, save the forests - so why make more waste with the gift receipt? Every single register clerks asks you if you need a gift receipt. I like saying no – ‘cause I could care less if someone knows how much I spent on them, plus, it’s one less piece of paper in my wallet, perhaps I saved a tree… or a leaf and if I am being really cheap, then I’ll save 44 cents this year with one less Christmas card to send!

Meet the Teacher

I met the teacher and I didn’t have to kick her ass. Although, she is tough as nails, I think Richie will do fine with her, I am not dropping my guard yet, ya never know when you’ll need to set someone straight! Kidding! Kidding! I really wanted a teacher that was lovey dovey but as my bestie said, I need a teacher that is lovey dovey NOT Richie, and this not about me. Ya know what, she’s right. Don’t ya love it when your friends, especially the best ones you have call you out on your shit? I do, it keeps me real. In any event, Richie has acclimated well to Kindergarten, week 1 & 2 were great, and I believe we will have a great school year. Now all we have to tackle is that homework…with a five-year-old smart ass. Good times! Good times!

Now That’s Italian!

Isn’t this the most beautiful vegetable you have ever seen? The color is just gorgeous, my favorite too, doesn’t the color purple just make you happy? Anyhoo, I had to buy this vegetable and then when the grocer said it was a Sicilian Eggplant, I was all over it. I mean, I am 100% Italian, and I believe 50% Sicilian (gotta confirm that one!) so how can I not buy it? Of course the I-Tie’s would produce such a beautiful veggie, do you expect anything less? The grocer said it would be sweeter but I wasn’t sure that I believed him, did he really cook one or is he going on word-of-mouth too? In any event, I bought it, got home, stared at it for a day. Than I dug into this beauty, cubed the crap out of her - put it in baking dish, sprinkled some sea salt and olive oil all over, gave it a few twirls than turned the oven on 350 for about 25 minutes, and Voila! It was delish - and yes, it was sweeter, it actually reminded me more of a Chinese eggplant - which I feel is a little more gooey, and sweeter if that makes sense. I don’t have any after pictures because after I gobbled it up, it dawned on me that I should of taken a pic, next time, I promise.

National F@#$K YOU DAY !

Don’t you just want to scream FUCK YOU to no one in particular, just because you are in the mood. Picture this – you see a man in his 40’s and whatever it is about him just pisses you off – so you say: “Hey you with that crazy-ass Cosby sweater, Fuck You” – and he just nods in agreement, maybe takes notice that his sweater ages him about 25 years, and continues to walk on. Imagine the instant gratification you would get from that? I am not even kidding, I wish there was a national scream FUCK YOU day for every single American citizen – starting at age 21 – kind of like the rite of passage, you can drink now and once a month, or perhaps on your birthday, you can say FUCK YOU to anyone you want – and you know what you’ll get in return: a nod of understanding that you are having a bad day or maybe even a “Happy Birthday”. I am old enough to understand that I should probably try another outlet to get my frustrations, anger or whatever is driving me crazy out and not seek gratification by screaming FUCK YOU to some stranger, but some days suck just plain suck, and saying those two little words does make you feel better. But since that will never happen, we’ll have to continue to secretly scream FUCK YOU in our heads to no one in particular or to our husbands, moms’, sisters, friends or that annoying neighbor who constantly mows their lawn at 7:00 a.m. on Saturday’s.

Real Good Food

Only recently have I started to really appreciate the tastes, smells, textures… but really the taste of what a nutritionist would deem healthy foods (basically nothing processed). With that being said, for over a year I’ve been following Kath at Kath Eats Real Food and never really believed that any of the food that she cooks, discovers and writes about could possibly taste as good as she proclaimed. I seriously would read her blog posts and grunt at my desk mumbling “that cannot taste good”. But I was intrigued enough to go back to her site on a daily basis and read, read and read – she’s cute, spunky and so damn enthusiastic about food, how can you not go back and read?! When I started to dedicate myself to more of a healthy way of eating and actually stopped eating all of the processed low-fat, no-fat, low sugar, no sugar crap is when I really started to appreciate not only what she was eating but the dedication she has to eating healthy, and actually preparing/planning her meals. I also LOVE that she is so normal, and does indulge when she wants – the difference between me and Kath is that when she indulges, she stops, I tend to take it a wee bit further… but I am working on it! I am urging you to check out Kath Eats Real Food. Poke around the site - read her old posts, check out her food page and make a few of the recipes. I’m telling you, you will fall in love with this spunky gal!

Give Thanks

I didn't plan on posting today however, I remembered the day and as a New Yorker, it was just not an option. There are so many stories and so many faces that represent the tragedy of September 11, 2001, it wouldn't be fair to mention just one or two. Like any day, but specifically on a day like today we should be thankful for what we have - from our lives, to our parents, children, friends, to having a roof over our heads and food on our plates. Life can be cut short in an instant, whether it's a tragic event or simply getting hit by a car. We never know what life will bring us, so try and try hard to live your life in the moment - my dad told us three things to live life by: 1) Everyone deserves respect 2) Take no risks, get no rewards and 3) Don't take any wooden nickels. I try to live life by these three things on a daily basis...and it's easier than you may think.

Today, step back and forget that your husband or your mom, sister, friend and even your children are being pains-in-the-asses, and realize that as much as they are getting to you, you probably couldn't live life without them.

TODAY - Grab the bull by the balls - and live your life - don't wait for tomorrow - TODAY is the DAY.

God bless those that are resting in Heaven, those that mourn them here on Earth, those that are fighting for our freedom, and basically everyone damn person in this world! I mean really now...MAKE LOVE NOT WAR !

Make it Work!

I feel like I can live my life with that statement. I wonder if Tim Gunn has copyrighted it? If not, he should. I had nothing for dinner the other night, didn't want to waste food so I made it work!

I cut up green and red bell peppers, onions, and a yellow zucchini, added some salt, pepper, italian seasoning and threw it in the oven on 350 for about 25 minutes.



Next I boiled some water for some pasta -usually whole wheat but I was all out, and then I sautéed some chicken sausage - which is my new love people, it's delish and you can make anything with it!! Please ignore the dirty stove, I do clean it!








When all was ready... I added about a tablespoon of EVOO to the pasta, sprinkled some parmesan cheese on top - and it was yummy!! I measured out a cup of pasta, and I was really satisfied, seriously full. I always thought I needed to eat a pound of pasta to feel full, not anymore. Next time I plan on adding a can of diced tomatoes so it's a little more saucy, cause I am a saucy kinda of gal !!


This picture should be rotated once around, it's a little off, not sure how I screwed that up. If you look closely at the top left there is a clump of parmesan cheese. I wished I would of seen that, I love eating those clumps right out of the container!!

When all else fails... make it work!!!

Can I use a life-line?

Oh…my friends!! I love them to death, I have a handful of best friends that I rely on – maybe way too much but rely on them I do. I can count my closest friends on two hands, I tell some more than others, some know everything about me…maybe more than I know about me. I value, love, and hold my friends in the highest regards. I’ve disappointed some, I’ve divorced a few, and some are still hanging around. I will say my piece with respect and honor their wishes, I will support them and never judge, sometimes - in my humblest of opinions I will let them know that I think they are wrong. I will keep secrets that I may not want to keep, I will let them vent, cry and make them laugh even if it means I have to moon them (yeah, picture mooning your friends with a piece of toilet paper stuck in your ass!). They are my friends. They make me pee my pants with laughter, they lend a shoulder when it’s needed, they call, and come running without being asked – they just know what to do – because they are my friends.

I’m not sure where I learned to be a friend - they say you mimic your parents/guardians behavior but that wasn’t the case for me. You hear that some woman crawled under the tables of the weekly bridge games listening to their mother and her friends talking about the neighbors, teachers or husbands, or perhaps they remember them sitting poolside drinking a cocktail while all the kids horsed around in the pool, or maybe even remember the monthly pot-luck dinners. That didn’t happen with my mom, I feel I barely knew my mom’s friends. My mother did have a strong circle of friends however; I rarely got to see my mom in action with them, my parents moved to Long Island and most of my mom’s friends stayed in the City (Brooklyn or Queens). I did witness my mom befriend the neighborhood moms and she is still very close with one, however, my mom had five children and rarely made the time for herself, that coupled with my dad being sick ...well, you get the picture. I love that my mom now makes the effort to attend a weekly card game with the gals from her old job, when she gets the chance - she still see’s her girls from back-in-the-day and even goes to lunch with the one neighborhood mom almost every month.

I am not sure if friendships weren’t that important to my mom or if she just put them on hold until she had the time to make for herself and her friends. Whatever the reason, I implore all woman to make friends whether you make one at work, through your kids or it’s one from kindergarten – if you have the connection – nurture that friendship. Every girl needs one friend she can rely on. I’m nothing without my friends – they are my rock, my comfort and my life-line – I am lucky I have many.

I got a feeling !

I’ve been running a lot since 2008 and really have not incorporated any other exercise beside walking or the occasional swim, but mainly I’ve been running either outside or on the treadmill. I’ve have done pretty well and have really increased my distance and speed. I even completed a 181 mile relay race with 12 other runners, personally I ran 15.5 miles over 24 hours. My goal for the end of this year is to get to a solid ten minute mile, the goal for mid 2010 is a 9 minute mile – and then I think I am done, because frankly it took me over a year to actually enjoy running. Nevertheless, last week I discovered spinning again, I’ve taken a few classes, and can’t seem to get enough, and my body responds to it – it’s awesome!! Yesterday I actually biked 3 miles to my sister’s house, than we ran 3.2 miles together than biked another 3 home… who am I? I can’t wait to get a new hybrid mountain/road bike… I need to get on that open road more – it was fun and a great burn. Don’t you love it when you discover new things that put a smile on your face? I felt fearless and strong… whose better than me?

It’s a balancing act…

I am desperately trying to have balance in my life in regard to food. When I indulge and make the decision to partake in something that I enjoy… I have to enjoy what I am indulging in and leave the guilt behind. ‘Cause if I don’t, I sabotage myself and I eat and eat and eat my face off – that turns into the next meal, the next day, the next week and so on and so on. What I want to try and do is find BALANCE. Be a trapeze artist if I must and balance the shit out of my eating habits, try my hardest to leave the guilt behind and just do it! But how? How do I do this? I know I have to leave the guilt behind when I have a beer, glass of wine or a buffalo wing but I can’t seem to get to there. The tape recorder in my head always derails me. It happened again on my birthday I had a ice-cream and a cocktail – now mind you all day long I was stellar, but the next day that tape recorder went off and was telling me I blew the day, have a piece of cake. WTF? No, I didn’t blow the day, it was a ice-cream cone and a drink. Hello? It could have been much worse. I caved and did have that sliver of cake but made sure the rest of the day was more in tune to my healthy habits. The only answer I have for myself is that maybe just maybe I need to change the recording in my head. Instead of unhealthy negative thoughts about food, especially when I indulge, just pop out that tape and put in a new one… a healthy one, a positive message for me to hear! That could be it - that could be the key!! I am going to change that tape now, but now I need a new message…arrrggghhhh any thoughts?

Getting Babies

My adorable five year old soon-to-be six year old/kindergartner asked me why his Aunt got three babies and we only got two. I wanted to say “Honey, it’s because mommy can hardly handle the two love bundles that she has now, and she wants to do the best she can without being sent to an insane asylum. God knows this about mommy so he blessed us with you and Matthew”. What did I say “Ummm…’cause, umm ‘cause…, want some milk?” . Clever eh?

Potty Mouth

I’m sorry but have you ever had to go the bathroom so freaking badly that you barely made it to the door? I am not sure if you ever experienced this, and I hope you have not and never do - but there have been PLENTY of times (and I am sorry to report that) that I just barely got to the bathroom on time. For both scenarios if you know what I mean, you do right? And if not, I am taking about stomach in knots, sweat beading down your face, palms sweaty kinda of race to that bathroom door. I think I have some issues that I need to work out. It’s the worst feeling in the world yet I let it happen time and time again. What’s wrong with me? I am not sure if it’s purely a procrastination issue or a genuine stomach thing. I’ve noticed with certain foods, I am running in more races, however I also know I have a strong bladder and constitution and I can hold it for a while. I think I need to do two things 1) practice going to the bathroom at certain times and when the feeling comes, I train myself like a three-year old to go, and go at that moment and 2) take note of what I am eating and see what happens. Otherwise, what’s the point? Do I really need to have an accident…’cause people it has happened and it’s not pretty, I mean for a three year old it’s acceptable but for a woman knocking, knocking on 40’s door, so not pretty! Time to run…yeah, it’s is that time again!